07:10 pm - My New Year's Resolution Is to consciously turn away from Self-Improvement as an ideal.
To read more books I'm excited about reading and fewer books that I feel bound to read by guilt or duty
To make time for cooking because I enjoy it and because I can cook better vegetarian food than any of the restaurants in walking distance
But also - to understand the difference between doing something because I genuinely enjoy it and doing something because I don't have the energy or brainpower to do anything else, and to try to get more genuine joy and less cardboardy joy substitute.
Going along with that, I am trying very hard to say no to all those promises I tend to make to myself right around the end of December about taking more vitamins and moisturizing my skin and having a clean desk. Because first of all, I probably won't. And second of all - I just really need to stop conceptualizing my whole life as a long list of tasks that I am failing to do. It gets in the way of understanding what you really value. It gets in the way of the few things that genuinely matter.